Superman walks into a library ...
Jay Pinkerton has written a few sequels to the Superman movies (caveat lector: um, language, scatological humour and homoerotic themes). From one:
Superman II
...
Zod: "Once again, Superman � kneel before ZOD!"
Superman: "I think not, scum. I've got another plan in mind that I think will fit scum like yourselves perfectly."
Zod: "I � please stop calling us scum."
Superman: "Never, scum!"
Zod: "Look, really. All pretense aside, just guys talking here � stop it. It makes you sound like an idio�"
Superman: "Maybe a flight around the Earth at incredible speeds, thus reversing the planet's rotation, will fix your wagons!"
Zod: "Flying around the Earth at incredible speeds, thus reversing the planet's rotation? No! Our one weakness!"
Superman: "Ah ha ha ha! That's right! I did a little research on you scum before coming here!"
Zod: "But wherever would you get such information?"
Superman: "At the PUBLIC LIBRARY."
Library workers: the super-secret sidekicks of superheroes everywhere (except Barbara Gordon, of course).